you’re free to go

I’m sorry, but I’m just so very dissapointed.
And even with just a few sentences, this post sounds so pessimistic and pathetic already, but whatever. I shall be vulgar now. _|_ YOU.

HAHA

Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope’s ear.

I had a very lovely day with Diana and Wen Rong earlier. Thank you, Wen Rong, for the lovely pizza hut meal! It’s so filling that I’m still full despite eating about 6 hours ago! Hahaha! It’s sucha waste BFF didnt come along la.

And ohmygoodness. Backstreet Boys’ I Still is so irritatingly & disturbingly nice to listen to (okay, I know it’s an old song. But I still listen to it kay! See, I still. HAHA. )
Even though I’m generally free from any emotional attachments now (which I’ve always been found to be having one at wrong times/moments) , I can still relate to most of the stories back when I was young and stupid. Of course… I’m still young, and hopefully, smarter.

So anyway, I just realized that I complain alot. It’s no wonder Diana feels like slapping my face sometimes (HAHA! JOKE!). But ya, really. I make complains like “This place is dirty”, “My hair is stubborn today!”, “I have pimples”, “Damnit, I’m so burnt!!!”; etc etc…& so the point is, I shouldn’t be complaining and I don’t want to complain anymore. It’s very easy to say that now. The process of getting rid of bad habits is, as all of us should know, a terrible struggle and is often extremely difficult. I don’t expect it to be easier for me. LOL. Hence I shall try to not complain so much anymore.

Plus I have a good idea about where to start, which is, to start from this question I’ve been asking myself before for quite some time. The question of WHEN. When will things get better. I asked myself this question alot before. But right now, I no longer want to ask for the answer so much, because the answer will come, one day. It may be cliche to say it again, but yes, I have alot of faith in this. I believe, and will keep believing. Just like how Mariah Carey sang,”You will when you believe.”

It will all be completely left behind. And I wouldn’t want to say that I wish again. Like what Kelly Clarkson sang (gosh, I’m putting the words of the songs people sing into good uses! HAHA!),”I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly, though it’s not easy to tell you goodbye.”

It’s the same for me. But now a different story altogether.

So goodnight, beautiful.

I’ll spread my wings & I’ll learn how to fly

I finally met my dear BFF after so long! Haha. As usual, times spent with BFF have been and will always be awesome. (: I hope we still have the time to hang out every now and then, even after she starts school in April. ):

So anyway, I went back to Orchid Park earlier in the morning to see the band. Yeah, I wont deny that YJWinds rehearsals make me miss OP rehearsals alot. Hm, what do you call it… Home-sick? No, band-sick? Haha! OMG. I SOUND LIKE IM SUCHA SEMANGAT BANDIT… HAHA. But, ya, really. It’s just weird to be in a different band lar. -.-”’

I realized I’m very thankful and grateful for where I came from, and who I was under with. I’m thankful for all the people who watched me grow, who made me who I am today. Ah, I have sucha beautiful life with so many beautiful, kind people in it.

And this is my beautiful life; only thing certain is everything changes.
The lows and the highs, and all those goodbyes.
As hard as it gets I know it’s still amazing to be alive.
It’s a beautiful life.

OH. And omg, i took the color test thingie from Nar darling’s blog, and the result is weirdly true!!! Kay, i know you people cant be bothered but i’ll just post it here anyway.

Name: Nisa
Date: 2/21/2009
Colorgenics Number: 45321607

---

You have a vivid imagination and this is good. Great inventors, explorers all had inventive, imaginative minds. Your friends and acquaintances may consider you over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming. So what ? this is a part of your character and charm.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

You are a rather inhibited sort of person. This could be the result of your upbringing or of your schooling, whatever. You are able to obtain satisfaction from various forms of physical or emotional activity but all in all you are inclined to be emotionally withdrawn. As a consequence of this you find it difficult to sustain any deep involvement.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer – MOVE!

you know you love me,
xoxo

You wear those shoes and i will wear that dress

I AM TIRED AND HAVE BEEN SUPER LAZY TO BLOG. AND!

I LOVE THURSDAYS.

Because it’s the only day in the whole week that timetable ends at 1.10pm for me. HAHA. Yay. Happy. Oh, and by the way, I’m in YJ Winds now. Like duh. The band works pretty… differently. Very differently, actually. Hm. I have no comments; I guess I’ll adapt to things.

Oh, update! I wont be going to the JC1 Adventure Camp at Bintan, due to eczima. I dont know if i should be happy or sad about it. Surely I’m going to miss out on all the fun, new experiences and stuff, but on a brighter note, I guess I wont be burnt any further, and my eczima will heal faster? I really really want it to heal once and for all lar.

Funny thing is, my doctor wrote in the letter that I am unfit for all activities. I was like, no! I still want PE lessons! Haha. Exercising is important and without it we’ll all be unfit, or even worst, fat! Dont want! D:

The weather’s been pretty warm lately, and it’s been giving me constant migranes. Every now and then, I feel like puking and i dont have the appetite to eat anything. Even the pizzas that the J2 band seniors bought as a surprise for us J1s didnt appeal to me! OMG WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME. I’m not starting to think of being aneroxic or anything like that. I’m healthy. Conclusion: It must’ve been the weather, and perhaps, the monthly thingie too, cos it really contributed to further discomfort. Pfft.

Nevermind that. I should really continue with my Econs project. Econs gives the most workload man. Seriously. Haha! Not that I mind la. I like Econs.

Hm. And ohmeegod. I’m really missing alottt of people.

Nobody said it was easy, it’s such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard.
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me,
Oh, what a rush to the start.

You dont know how lovely you are.

This is shit.

You never know what’s comin’ for ya.

You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went.
You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go.

I should ban myself from the computer because whenever I’m here, always reminded of things that I would have been glad to forget. On the other hand, school’s been good, so far. Geography lectures are fun to attend. Irony to that, I used to really hate geography. Haha! Econs lectures are… Hm, well basically, you cant even YAWN in Econs lectures because you’ll just die. Seriously. You cant even look bored in her lectures la! You have to look enthusiastic or else, she’s going to pick on you. On a more optimistic side, because the lecturer is so damn freaking strict, many have gotten good grades under her. You have to pay to get what you want, eh?

Malay Lit lessons are, okay lah. Pretty slack. But the book I’m supposed to read? Damnit. The cover is already not interesting to even look at can. Sometimes I wonder what I got myself into. Malay lit? I mean, seriously???And I wonder, how the hell I became the top malay student up till Sec 3 when I dont even enjoy Malay language. -.-”’

Lecture proper starts next week. Ah, well I wont deny that I do feel scared. Scared if I wont be able to cope or whatshit. They’re going to go at fast speed, and I really hope I can make it. I cant even afford to drift off a little during lectures, cos I’ll lose out a whole lot.

By the way, MY UNIFORM IS SO DAMN UNGLAM!!! Can’t they be like, more creative or something? And not only that, my skin tone is horrible due to sunburns that i got from orientation. It’s not gonna heal anytime soon because Im going to Bintan end of the month for a JC1 leadership camp or something. DAMNN. How much darker am I supposed to get?! Pfft. Then again. So much for complaining. It’s not as if I have a choice also.

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

Benjamin Button was draggy. The whole time I was like,”When’s benjamin going to get younger?!” Hahaha. I find some parts of the movie a little unnecessary too. However, the ending was a really sad one. :’(

Okay lah. I have Econs project to do. Later!!! :):)

You know you love me,
xoxo

In Concert II & 125 Outing.

omg THIS PHOTO IS THE SEX MAN. AWESOMEEEE. Thank you, Jeremy, for taking sucha pretty photo of me playing my clarinet! Hahaha! My ugly black top totally spoils it all lor. -.-”’ If only I had the time to shop for a nicer one. Haiyo. If only.

Special thanks to Eyli and my clarinet section for the lovely pink flowers. Pink rocks, clarinet section rocks too!

(“v”)

I do not know why, but I seem to be looking pretty much like a retard in every jumpshots. HAHA. Sad case.

Okay, I look freaking fat in this photo but thats not the point. The point is that we went bowling yesterday! It was so much fun! Despite me losing and my hand aching since the ball is too heavy. Hahahaha.

Life’s greaatt!!! Except for the fact that I miss having a BFF to walk around the school with. I miss having a BFF with whom I can tell everything to!!! Bottomline, I miss my Zalo. SEE ZAL. I SO SWEET RIGHT. HAHA. YOU BETTER MISS ME LOR YOU… Haha. But I’m glad I still have Diana with me. She’s like, sucha lovely friend. One that I can alwaysss count on to, apart from Zalo (she hates this nickname. But its cute what, CORRECT ANOT?!).

Oh, by the way, “Who moved my cheese” is a really really good show! There’s alot of good pointers you can take from the mini movie itself. You should really watch it online or something. Or read the book! There’s the book, right? Yeah, if I’m not wrong.

Alright, I have to read up my Econs now.

“When you change what you believe, you change what you do.“

You know you love me
Xoxo, N

(continued from yesterday’s photolog)

More photos.

OKAY, my face is of pure retard here. HAHAHHAAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Alumni concert was great!!! Photos are still with Hafiz though. So yup okay. I’m damn tired. Haha. Thank you, for all those who came down to support us.

xoxo, N.

Two ravens in the old oak tree

WHATS UP, SEXY?!!!
HAHA.

As you can see, I am HAPPY. HAHA. I am definitely loving my life right now! Totally awesomeeee! I am darn glad I was posted to YJC. (Kay, fine, I know I’ll prolly start complaining once serius studying begins, but still). Everything about the school (the people, especially) totally rocks. I guess the only setback is YJ’s old bulding. But, who cares anyway. I met new lovely friends who are none other than wonderful. Plus, most importantly, the toilets are cleann.

So okay, for the past 5 days we’ve been having orientation. Goodness, I’ve definitely gotten about 1 or 2 tones darker laa. And as i’m typing this, my body’s aching from all the running of here and there… PLUS MY THROAT HURTS from all the shouting and screaming! Hahaha! But then again, this whole orientation thing actually changed alot in me. Well, kinda. Apart from having new lovely people in my life, I find myself more daring now. Like during the Jam and Hop session, and they were having the couple dance, I just literally pull a totally random J1 guy whom I do not know and went,”Dance with me!” HAHA. So proud of myself for not being too much of an introvert anymore. woohoo!!

Nevermind that. Hahaha. Alot of things happened, I’m and too lazy to blog about everything. I have some photos taken from day 4 and 5 though. So yupp. Picture galoreee.

P.S Photos are not in order, by the way.

I love CTG125. <3

Alright, more photos are with Delia.Shall update more soon. Meanwhile, I have to get ready in like, a few hours time to go to school for alumni concert later. I hope I wont get stage fright for Shalom movement 2. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

You know you love me
xoxo, Nisa

Can’t help loving that man of mine

My new life is soon to begin, baby.

The internet and phone connections at my house have been sucha bitch to me.

So anyway, the posting results are out. I got my first choice, YJC. HAHA. Not very surprising, actually. Ah, well I’m excited for school tomorrow! I’ll be able to meet new people and make new friends! Heh. I hope it wont be bleak or anything like that. Plus please please let Diana and me be in the same orientation class.

And really, do i look that stupid/dumb to you? I do not know what isit with you people. It’s as if I’m so stupid that the decision i made was confirmed a bad one. I chose this path because it’s the best path leading to my dreams, and I’m willing to try. So why cant you support me instead of demoralizing? Isit that only you people can make good or right choices and I cant? You think you know me but you dont actually know anything. Like, at all. I bet you people didnt even expect me to pass my Os. I dont know my limit yet, and I’m not going to shortchange myself; so who are you to shortchange me? Pfft.

Nevermind that. Here’s something by Nigahiga. The baseball scene is hilarious. HAHA.